Title: Full Circle
Author: Shen
Rating: PG-13
Setting/Spoilers: Post-Journey's End
Teaser: ”We're not going to let this stand, are we?” Rose is not satisfied with how things turned out on Bad Wolf Bay, but it's a long path back to 10 and the TARDIS. What discoveries and hardships will she and 10.2 find along the way? A JE fixit fic.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Chapter 9: Good News, Bad News
The Doctor gawped. There wasn't a more appropriate word for it. Less than an hour after bidding her farewell, Rose stood before him. She looked shocked and vulnerable for a moment, but then he saw her steel herself into a more neutral expression.

“You're here,” he said intelligently.

“Here and not going anywhere, so don't ask. Can't go back.”

“I won't,” the Doctor said softly, ignoring her argumentative tone. He walked up to her slowly, as if expecting her to disappear any second, but when he got to her, his arms curled around her form tightly. He had never intended to see her again, but given the opportunity, he wouldn't resist a hug. However, to his dismay, she stiffened slightly at the motion. He stepped back, perturbed. She stared at him, eyes wide and wary, and Mickey and Jack kept their silence behind him.

Picking a random question of the million rolling around his head, he asked, “Where's the other Doctor?”

“He's dead,” she answered, and her voice hitched at the end. A sniffle followed, and she closed her eyes for a second to keep tears at bay. “Sorry, it's very new still.”

“Don't... apologize,” he forced out mechanically, taken aback. How could this happen? They were supposed to be okay. Live til old age and be happy; that's what he'd left them to have. But stuck in a forbidden land, they were Schroedinger's couple, and this, he supposed, was the unsightly outcome of opening the box. He was forced to acknowledge that his sacrifice had no guarantee of a positive ending. Mentally shaking off his shock, his eyes met Rose's. They held a great deal of pain, and he felt guilty for dwelling on his own.

Putting his hands on her upper arms, he looked at her earnestly and said, “I'm so sorry.”

“You left us. You just left us, and...” the torn sound of her voice constricted his hearts in his chest. In that moment, he didn't know what to say. Then, he heard the tck tck of heavy shoes coming towards them, ringing out in the silence.

“How did you get back?” asked Jack softly. It was a neutral question and good for distancing the conversation from high emotions. Give him a few minutes to rally himself.

Rose wiped her eyes and glanced to the side as she started, “It was pretty simple, actually, in concept. We already had a dimension cannon. The walls between dimensions were closed, true, but only after the TARDIS left and finished closing them. Which was just a minute ago. All we had to do was make a time machine. Nothing fancy, just good enough for one trip back, carrying us and the cannon, and one trip forward so we didn't leave advanced technology in the past. It probably landed back in the future as a charred mass, but that's most likely for the best. He was almost done constructing it when he died. I was able to follow the plans he left to finish it.”

“Was it a mission?” inquired Mickey.

“Yeah.”

“But Rose, that should have taken years,” commented the Doctor, confused. For some reason, this made Rose grow angry.

"And how long would you guess it's been?"

"You..." He scrutinized her carefully. "You don't look any older at all."

"Well, surprise, it's been eleven years, and I'm barely showing a day.” The Doctor's jaw dropped again, and suddenly, a fresh wave of guilt slammed into him, almost making him stagger. Rose must have noticed because, taking a breath, she backed off the angry outburst and spoke more gently, explaining, “You left me with a Doctor that would age with me, except that I don't age like a human anymore. I would have outlived him no matter what. Not that you ever bothered to check to see if something was different about me after Bad Wolf.” Oh, Rassilon. Could it all be true? It was a good thing the other Doctor helped her get back, or she would have been alone for a very, very long time. The Doctor gave her a deeply apologetic look, and to his surprise she stopped scowling and smiled ruefully.

She then assured him, “Okay, that wasn't fair of me. It's my body; I should have insisted you check it once I got the whole story. It's long past, anyway, and when I figured it out, a few months after I saw you last, I never regretted it. Because I knew I was coming back to you.”

“I can barely believe it. You don't age? Age slowly? Doesn't matter; it's brilliant news. To think what you almost had to go through alone... I can't be thankful enough to the other me for bringing you back to me.” Emboldened by such good news, he went to hug her again, but this time she stepped back. Hurt, he blinked at her, and she winced.

“Look, I understand why you did it. Please don't think I don't. It's enraging and brave, and you did it because you love me. Even if you can't say it. But I'm going to need time, alright? There's... only so much a woman can take. Only so many times losing the same man. For a while, I wasn't sure if I should- if I could- but I promised him I'd find you. And I trusted him on that.” The Doctor was split between mentally thanking his other self for that and despairing at the idea of not being able to touch Rose while she was right in front of him.

She rambled on, “But it's confusing, too, you know? You're him, the same man, but there's all these memories, all these years between you, and all I have of that time is this.” She pulled something out of her pocket that made the Doctor's eyes widen into saucers.

“Holy what!” exclaimed Jack. Rose blinked at him, alarmed. “I've seen one of those before. Rose, does it do anything? Besides tell time?”

“Um, it doesn't tell time, actually; it just sort of glows. When I open it, an orangey-yellow. And... this probably sounds stupid and sentimental, but I can feel him beside me, almost. It's the strangest thing, probably all in my head, but it's valuable to me.” She looked down at the object. “He gave it to me right before he died and told me to show it to this Doctor. It glowed the brightest just then.”

Seriously, the Doctor explained, “Rose, it's not all in your head.” She looked up at him sharply, intrigued. He continued, “That fobwatch holds part of the other me, and I mean more than just a whisper or a shadow to remember me by. It's his entire essence, including his memories. In a way, he saved himself.” The Master would be impressed. And amused, probably, as much as the Doctor had given recrimination to him for avoiding death, but the Doctor hadn't killed anyone to do it. Besides, it was an act of love.

“What good is it to be stuck inside a watch, though?” Her brow was furrowed in adorable confusion, a sight too precious for words. He had always had loved explaining things to her, teaching her, and that was true even now.

He elucidated gently, “He doesn't have to be. I could take it, merge with him again. Since we were originally the same person, and because there's now only one body between us, it would work.” Without thought, he reached out – just to touch it, examine it a moment, not take – but Rose pulled the watch back against her chest protectively.

Pleadingly, she said, “Please don't. I need to think about this. It's weird, even for us, and I'm not sure I can reconcile both of you into one person again just yet. Not in my head I can't. And I'm not sure it's right to just replace people. Replace him with you, replace you with him – oh god, I have a headache coming on.” He looked at her sympathetically. It made sense, and really, he was just overjoyed to see her again, to have the chance to look at her and hear her voice. Even if she was confused and skittish, he could wait, would wait, and would cherish the chance to win her over again. Because after giving her up to what he hoped would be a physically and emotionally safer, better life in the long term and seeing the idea crash and burn, he didn't think he could ever push her away again. Every reason he'd had for doing it had gone up in smoke, and he wasn't sure he had the fortitude to repeat the action besides.

It wasn't a simple situation, but his decision to go with it was. He had hope, now.

What he didn't have was a clue as to what to do or say at this very second. Luckily, Jack walked up slowly and held his hand out to Rose.

“Why don't you come with me for a while?”

“But...” protested the Doctor. He may not have been certain what move to make, but he was fairly sure he didn't want to stop looking at Rose. Jack smiled at him encouragingly.

“I'll bring her back, Doctor. Just, it's probably enough drama for one day, right? Let her rest and think about things. You should do the same; you look like shit.” He turned to Rose. “I'll get you and Mickey set up in some temporary housing we have. And we can get a bite to eat.” Rose smiled sadly but gratefully at him and reached for his hand, but she froze halfway.

Suddenly, her arms wrapped around the Doctor. It was a real, solid embrace, and he returned it with equal desperation. Her scent intoxicated him, the feel of her giving him courage.

She whispered, “I missed you. You were right next to me, but knowing you were here, alone, I still missed you.” Then, she slowly extracted herself from his arms and took Jack's hand, casting one glance back before following him out the door.